The Fight of My Life.

24 Oct

MORE revelations in the NIGHT!

Wowee! What a week! In my last post I mentioned that I was having some life shifting revelations while sleeping (well, actually I would wake up with them). And they have been different from ANYTHING I have felt in the past. I truly feel like I am on new territory, and fighting with some of my old ways.

I am now FREELANCING full-time, and I mentioned the terror and the liberation that comes with it. I have worked full-time jobs, for companies, for the past decade, sometimes with additional part-time jobs. I am trying to escape this feeling of extreme GUILT for not having a “job”.

But I DO have a job! I am writing and studying and reaching out to YOU! I am inspiring and being inspired!  If you ask me THAT IS PRODUCTIVE.

But then there’s the GUILT. My conditioning is STRONG! The old me will not go down without a FIGHT. And quite a fight it’s been… We get to know our demons REAL WELL when we are trying to break free from them.

From this new vantage point, I am realizing a lot. Remember I mentioned selective denial? Now more than ever I simply HAVE to push forward.

I can’t even afford to entertain certain thoughts. These thoughts, that I am realizing, pervaded my  mind for years. Thoughts that I am not good enough and “they” are better than me, etc.  I am starting to realize  the extent of what my thought patterns have cost me and it is BLOWING MY MIND.

As a FULL-TIME entrepreneur, I am now DEPENDING on my TRUE gifts and strengths to carry me through. When I had a job (job meaning working for someone else’s dream),  it was my crutch. It was my excuse to not dive fully into sharing my gifts with the world!

I took the LEAP! And now I can’t afford NOT to share my gifts. I am flying through the air, grasping for a life line. What are my lifelines? FAITH and GRATITUDE.

Are YOU taking the leap too??

It is more important, now more than ever, to put my theories into practice. I have read about divine inspiration, and living in the present moment. I have experienced divine inspiration, and presence, which has a whole hell of a lot to do with FAITH. Faith that living in MY TRUTH, and not compromising myself, will carry me forward.

And as far as my thought patterns – I am FINALLY starting that GRATITUDE journal today!

This post was inspired by a question posed by the fabulous DANIELLE LAPORTE. Always thought provoking and sassy as EVA!!
My fellow entrepreneurs, I hope you can relate! Please subscribe to my blog, and share your experiences <3

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